A Year of Total Fulfillment

A Year of Total Fulfillment

Ever crush a goal and have a strange sense of emptiness?  Make 2018 a year of total fulfillment.

Are you joining millions who are going to the gym this week? Here’s a plan to kick off your next several trips to the gym. Focus on lifting weights with one arm. Each time for the next bunch of visits keep working that same arm. Curls, flies, lift, press, repeat . . . work it! 

We all want a toned arm. Actually, none of us want just one toned arm. We would look ridiculous. No one is setting a fitness goal for 2018 to look weird, but many are setting goals in just one or two areas putting themselves at risk of feeling very unfulfilled even though they’ve achieved their goals. When working on your personal plan for 2018 take a look at more than just your job or your financial status or your relationships. Take time to reflect on and plan for your whole self. Gift yourself a year of total fulfillment in 2018 by thinking through and planning in the following 8 areas

1.  CAREER: Are you considering a new career or advancing in your current one? Do you have the job you want? What about your job do you love? What can you do to make your job better? Many people think that the employer is responsible for making their job better, but it’s more in your control than you may think. What – if you did more of it or less of it at work would make you enjoy it more?
2.  FAMILY: We can be mutually fulfilled in career success and family success when we take the time to decide what is important and how to manage our time.
3.  FINANCIAL: Financial planning should include short term, mid term and long term. What are some things on your “want” list? What steps can you take to make those a reality? Are you thinking big enough?
4.  PHYSICAL: I worked with a CEO who would say “get out and run, and if you can’t run, then walk, and if you can’t walk, then crawl, but get up and do something”. We all only have one body. What can you do this year to take care of yours?
5.  RELATIONSHIPS: Which relationships do you want to build? Do you have any that are toxic? “Who you spend time with is who you become”. These are great words of wisdom from Tony Robbins.
6.  SPIRITUAL: This doesn’t have to be about religion (but it sure can be). What are your beliefs? Your beliefs drive your actions and your actions get your results. Do you have limiting beliefs keeping you from being more, doing more, and having more?
7.  INTELLECTUAL: I read that Mark Cuban reads 3 hours a day, Elon Musk ran out of books to read in the library so he would sneak into a bookstore to read more, and that Warren Buffet devotes much of his time to books. Success leaves clues. If these three very successful men devote time each day to sharpen the saw, we all should. If reading is not your thing then find something fun. Ted Talks are entertaining, impactful, and full of knowledge.
8.  FUN: All work and no play will make 2018 a dreadful year. What do you enjoy doing for fun? Do you have any interests or hobbies? How will you make sure to take some time for yourself?
Make 2018 your most fulfilled year yet by planning in all 8 areas for a complete you. You can do this!

What’s on My Reading List; Grit:  Passion, Perseverance, and the Science of Success

What’s on My Reading List; Grit: Passion, Perseverance, and the Science of Success

Grit: Passion, Perseverance, and the Science of SuccessGrit: Passion, Perseverance, and the Science of Success by Angela Duckworth
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book started out great. Her explanation of grit and the examples provided were very interesting. I feel that people will be encouraged to read that perseverance can win over talent or skill. Perseverance puts the ball in my court instead of in my heredity or environment. How badly do I want to be great? How hard am I willing to work for it? Imagine if everyone could get that and get the voice in their head lined up with that thought. Wow!

The book then turned very ordinary and repetitive and even sounded
just like plain common sense over scientific research. There is already plenty written on the 10,000 hours, or as this author calls it deliberate practice (yes, the deliberate part does make it somewhat different, I get it, but not enough different to spend so much time on it). Here was one of the low lights . . . If you keep at something you may eventually get it right, but if you quit you won’t ever get there. Um, duh.

One of my favorite quotes . . .“…there are no shortcuts to excellence. Developing real expertise, figuring out really hard problems, it all takes time―longer than most people imagine….you’ve got to apply those skills and produce goods or services that are valuable to people….Grit is about working on something you care about so much that you’re willing to stay loyal to it…it’s doing what you love, but not just falling in love―staying in love.”
― Angela Duckworth, Grit: Passion, Perseverance, and the Science of Success

Staying in love is the key.

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What’s on My Reading List; The Book of Forgiving

What’s on My Reading List; The Book of Forgiving

The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our WorldThe Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World by Desmond Tutu
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Truly beautiful book. The instruction for forgiveness is really illustrated well with fabulously shared stories.

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This quote was a really eye opening to me and changed how I look at things.  Before understanding this I always felt that forgiveness meant letting someone off of the hook.  I like this thought much better . . .

“Forgiveness does not relieve someone of responsibility for what they have done. Forgiveness does not erase accountability. It is not about turning a blind eye or even turning the other cheek. It is not about letting someone off the hook or saying it is okay to do something monstrous. Forgiveness is simply about understanding that every one of us is both inherently good and inherently flawed. Within every hopeless situation and every seemingly hopeless person lies the possibility of transformation.” 

Cook Chicken Once for Four Easy Meals

“I wanted to figure out why I was so busy, but I couldn’t find the time to do it.” 
― Todd Stocker

Busy families like ours can still eat great with a little planning.  With one great ingredient and some creative thinking you can go far.  By pure accident I found my new favorite chicken marinade.  I was all set in my mind on how I was going to marinade chicken and at the last second my hubby cried out, “don’t put an acid in the marinade”. Crap!  I was going to use citrus.  What now?

I had just found a new salad dressing I had never seen before, Bolthouse Farms Cilantro Avocado Yogurt Dressing, with only 40 calories per serving.  What the heck, I thought, I might as well try it.

It’s a new favorite!

At night:

Slice 4 chicken breasts horizontally into strips.
Place in plastic bag.
Pour in Cilantro Avocado dressing
Marinade over night.

The next day:
Using a grill pan and medium heat, grill the chicken. (the small pieces only take about 2-3 minutes per side)

Lunch one:
Chicken sandwiches.  I would totally play up the flavors in the dressing and top this sandwich with fresh avocado.

Dinner one:
Chicken tacos or quesadillas.

Lunch two:
Use the chicken to top your favorite salad

Breakfast:
Chicken hash topped with fried eggs

Chicken Hash
Printable Version

Ingredients

  • Chicken breast – cut horizontally into strips
  • Bolthouse Farms Cilantro Avocado Yogurt Dressing (for marinade)
  • 2 potatoes
  • 1/2 cup chopped onion
  • 1/2 cup chopped red pepper
  • salt
  • pepper
  • Slap Ya Mama seasoning (spicy creole seasoning)

Instructions

  • Marinate chicken overnight in dressing
  • Grill chicken in grill pan on medium heat
  • (I make extra chicken and use it in many meals, then just use the leftovers in this dish)
  • Cut potatoes into cubes
  • Heat olive oil in fry pan – medium high
  • Add potatoes
  • Cook until brown on all sides
  • Season with Salt and Slap Ya Mama
  • Add peppers and onions
  • Cook until veggies are soft and onions begin to slightly caramelize
  • Serves 4
  • Top each serving with 2 fried eggs

Tell Yourself Positive Stories to Stay Positive

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny
.”   
~    Mahatma Gandhi
The above quote has been stated and restated and rephrased by many different people over time.  If you Google the first line over 38,000,000 results appear. I must have heard it, read it, watched it on a YouTube video hundreds of times in my life, but today as I listened to an audio program I finally understand how it works.

Your beliefs become your thoughts. 

I always mistook that your beliefs meant your values, but notice how values come later in the phrase. 
Belief is first.  What is the belief then?  What I learned today is that belief comes from an activity.  Your belief is the story you tell yourself about the thing that just happened.  Here’s a story I could tell myself . . .

My neighbor forgot to take out the trash – again –  and a week later the bin is overflowing and I am angry with my neighbor because they are lazy and forgetful and I wish they would move so I could have a better neighbor.

My belief, in this example is that my neighbor is lazy and forgetful.  Now, if I follow the formula in the passage above, because my belief is negative, all of my thoughts regarding my neighbor are negative. My words to them become negative, I mistreat them and now they dislike me for being a mean person and my destiny is that I am disliked by all of my neighbors for my behavior.  I am miserable and continue to wish that all of my neighbors would move away.

Here’s the kicker . . . what is reality?  Is my neighbor really lazy and forgetful? No.  How could I possibly know that?  So, why would I believe it to be true?  The only truth is that I allowed myself to downward spiral because of the story I told myself. My negative thoughts created hurt and suffering. So, who has the problem, my neighbor or me?  Let’s retell the story.

My neighbor forgot to take out the trash – again – and a week later the bin is overflowing.  I believe that my neighbor must be very busy and so I ask if there is anything I can do to help.  In fact, they do accept the offer and I help out. Now I see another neighbor in need and help them as well.  My neighbors take note and soon my neighbors are all helping each other and we all marvel in the great community we live in.  I am happy and enjoy living near such wonderful people.
 
Now, I see Gandhi’s statement is more than just a nice message.  It is a plan.  It gives us a tool to use when something doesn’t go our way.  When something makes us angry, or hurt we need to take a time out.  What story are you telling yourself?  Take a moment to decide what is the reality and decide how to keep your belief positive.  Your belief is your choice. 

p.s. this story is purely fictional.  I am in fact more likely to forget to take the trash to the curb than any of my neighbors.

Step aside from all thinking, and there is nowhere you can’t go. ~ Seng-ts’an (the Third Founding Teacher of Zen)

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