Depending on the circumstances of us meeting, if we’ve met, there will be two dramatically different responses to this revelation. Very opposing responses.
If we were introduced socially, you’re already in on the secret. If someone were to ask you “did you know this about her” your reply would be “isn’t it obvious, everyone knows that about her”.
Suppose our meeting happened in a professional setting. Revealing this truth about myself would receive a much different reaction. “No way”. “It’s not possible”. “Not her”.
Here’s the secret
I am not just a little bit shy. I am deathly shy. My preferred role in a social setting; wall flower. The thought of having to introduce myself to total strangers and be able to make small talk with them gives me the same pit in my stomach as having just ate some bad sushi. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I remember being on a bus trip and someone yelled out “why don’t you ever talk”? My valiant hero responded “she never talks”. Shy. So shy. Paralyzed with fear.
In a professional setting a totally different persona comes to life. A hostess with the mostest, A larger than life very social figure. Someone who is outgoing, approachable, even . . . LOUD. Put her on a stage and let her speak to the room and she shines. Who is this person? Where does she come from?
It wasn’t always this way. I remember early on in my career I would have to do morning sales meetings. As I began to speak I would feel it. The burning red creep. It would start on my chest and the warm burning sensation would climb. I would think “don’t be visible, don’t be visible” as I felt it creep up to my neck. “Don’t be visible”, now my ears are on fire. “Don’t be visible”, my cheeks are certainly crimson with the burn. The horror. Complete terror.
What is different now? Competence. Studying your craft, becoming an expert and doing something over and over again until you build competence. Action builds competence. Competence then breeds confidence. Look at the athletes about to take part in the 2018 Winter Olympics. As they are about to begin their event they radiate confidence. It wasn’t always there. There was fear. Confidence came with repeated practice of their sport making them competent.
There are two reasons I decided to share my secret with you. First, you may be holding yourself back because, like most people, you have a fear of speaking. This can be conquered. Be a subject matter expert and keep throwing yourself into situations where you have to give presentations. Eventually, it will get easier and even become enjoyable. Second, as you’re working on yourself at the onset of the new year you may have some limiting beliefs about your abilities that are preventing you from setting certain goals. I can’t possibly give a presentation, don’t you know that I’m shy? Maybe it’s not speaking, perhaps it’s writing. Maybe it’s exercise. Just start doing it. Action builds competence and competence breeds confidence. You can do this.
Reading the book, It Starts With Food before beginning the Whole30 is definitely the way to go. The authors give you everything you need to be successful.
Even tough love.
One struggle I had while reading it is that each chapter begins with a testimonial on how the program is “life changing”. Not to be cynical, but really, a 30 day meal plan life changing? How can eliminating certain foods from your diet for just 30 days be all that?
And then, at about day 15 it happened.
My husband and I were both feeling so good that we said “I am never going back”. What does that mean, never going back? We are not going to kid ourselves that we are going to be Whole30 all day every day, but we are going to do our best to be Whole30 80% of the time.
We feel that good.
Specifically, we both experienced these benefits:
Better sleep. This one matters most. It’s amazing how many other parts of your day are better when you get better sleep. Better sleep = better performance.
Wake up easier. Definitely a result of the first benefit, but it is important to point out.
Running and workouts became easier, Tiger blood is a real thing and we really experienced it. Once your body adjusts to burning fat instead of sugar – look out gym!
No afternoon slump.
Better looking skin. Smoother and brighter.
Weight loss. The incredible part about the weight loss is . . .
The dirty details, I lost 10 pounds and my husband lost 15. To be completely transparent, some of that was holiday excess and would have dropped off anyway. Or, maybe not.
There was only one negative to this program, and no it wasn’t going without our wine for 30 days. If you go pastured, organic, grass fed, all natural, etc.
This is what writer Eric Gillin had to say about that in Epicurious
IT HELPS TO HAVE TONS OF MONEY AND FANCY GROCERY STORES When did tree nuts and almond butter start to cost as much as uncut cocaine?
Our tips for your success:
Do it with a partner. It’s so much easier when you’re not the only one passing on dessert.
Cook once and eat many times. Making things like a beef brisket made meal planning for an entire week much easier.
Learn to love eggs.
Journal what you eat and how you slept. This will give you small celebrations throughout the 30 days.
Don’t give up on yourself – you can do this. Our mantra was . . .”It’s only 30 days”
The authors of the Whole30 say that most people give up on days 10 and 11. The novelty has wore off, food fatigue, temptation. A whole lot of reasons. Being on Day 9 it doesn’t feel like I’m ready to quit tomorrow or the next day.
How are you doing on your 2016 goals? Need some motivation? ET always does it for me. Check out this video
Making the Whole30 fun by being able to be creative has been our focus. By just focusing on making it through each day until you get to 30, I could see how you might give up. If you focus on trying new things and being creative then you look forward to each new experience and don’t even count the day you’re on.
I’ve never even eaten a chicken burger before. That didn’t stop us for cooking them up for today’s brown bag lunch.
The top reason I have stayed with the same employer for over 20 years (dating myself) is that it is so great to work for a company with tremendous opportunity that encourages you to grow as a person. Several years ago they made it even more fun to do so with the 68 Day Challenge. Check it out here on Facebook: The 68 Day Challenge.
The challenge I am taking on this year – the Whole30 Program. 30 days of cleaner eating for better health. No grains, beans, dairy, added sugar, and alcohol for 30 days. What is attractive about this program? First, anyone can do just about anything for only 30 days. Next, I love this philosophy that eating healthy is easy, it’s the psychology that gets in the way.
So, the challenge is 68 days and the program is only 30. No worries. This isn’t a program to jump right into. The first few steps that I am working on now:
meal planning – for family members on the plan and those not on the plan
This last one, schedule planning, has actually been the hardest part so far. Why make this program more difficult by trying to do it when there is extra temptation and will power busters? We’ve (I’m lucky that my husband agreed to go along on this journey) moved our start date from February 23rd (the day after my husbands birthday) to January 4th (let’s stop talking and get started) to January 8th (really, you have 2 business dinners this week).
Happy Easter How far do you have to run to burn off your Easter candy? 1 peep 1/3 mile
1 marshmallow egg 1 mile 1 Reese’s egg 1 3/4 miles 1 Cadbury cream egg 1 1/2 miles 1 dark chocolate coconut egg 1 1/4 miles (my favorite are the coconut eggs!) This week: (days 54-60) Monday – off Tuesday – 2 miles Wednesday – 4 miles Thursday – off Friday – 4 miles Saturday – 2 miles Sunday – 8 miles (don’t worry if you walk most of this. Try to run as much as you can)
A peek ahead to next week: (days 61-65)
Monday – off Tuesday – 2 miles Wednesday – 2miles Thursday – off Friday – off Saturday – Race Day