by LT | Aug 11, 2020 | Business, Leadership, Parenting, Podcast, Self Development
Leadership is a transfer of beliefs. That is why it is crucial your team needs these four words from you. I believe in you. When you believe in them, they begin to believe in themselves and amazing things happen.
“People imagine, and people believe; and it is that rock solid belief, that makes things happen.” – Neil Gaiman
“The fact is, you do not believe what you see, but rather, you see what you already believe. Your deeply held beliefs distort your worldview and cause you to see things not the way they are but the way you are.” Brian Tracy
The Wallet Thief
Yes, it’s still 2020. The year where nothing is crazy because everything is crazy. Our daughter graduated college and unfortunately did not get to walk with her classmates and our son turned 16 and couldn’t get his license because the DMV was closed. Imagine all that excitement you had leading up until your sweet 16. Counting down the days, planning where that first road trip will take you and the poof gone. Yes, worse things have happened during the pandemic, but when you are 16 not being able to get your freedom is pretty tragic especially when you have your sights on a girl who is a senior and can drive and today things are different.
These kids do everything officially harder. When I was 16 if you went on a date and then went on a second date you were pretty much a couple. Today, there has to be a plan. Have you seen the promposals? So, my son plans to take her hiking for the day and when he finds the perfect romantic spot he will ask her to be his girlfriend. The same kid who won’t take the extra effort to bend over and put the dish in the dishwasher instead of on the counter is going through this effort for a girl.
The two are at the park all day. It was probably a very nice escape for them, except when my husband called to check in our son told him that his wallet was gone. Now when you are 16 pretty much everything you own fits in a wallet. He was devastated and when he got home there were a lot of accusations about the supposed wallet thief. Someone lifted it out of my backpack, someone took it spiraling down into a dark negative place and I said Sean you have to believe that people are good. No one wants to keep your wallet you will get it back. It’s like a switch went off. Instantly, he was telling himself a new story. A great person found my wallet and is trying to get it back to me.
What we believe about people is what we see in people.
What we believe about people is what we see in people. If we want to see something more from people, we don’t go to them and say “I need this from you” – sometimes that is the answer, but first you have to check your beliefs about a person. Do I believe that they are doing the best they can? Do I believe they want to do a good job? What am I seeing in this person that reflects my beliefs?
If you lead others now what do you believe about your team?
by LT MarathonGirl | Jan 16, 2018 | Book Review
1776 by David McCullough
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Belief was a strong characteristic that enabled George Washington to stay with his task even when discouraged and feeling hopeless. His belief in ‘why’ they were defending the United States gave him remarkable courage and determination to stick out the war. At a time when he may have been the wealthiest person in the US it would have been understandable if at any time he would have backed down.
The book is great and written in a way that keeps your attention page after page. McCullough may be my favorite author.
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by LT MarathonGirl | Jan 10, 2018 | Business, Self Development
I’m going to let you in on a secret.
Depending on the circumstances of us meeting, if we’ve met, there will be two dramatically different responses to this revelation. Very opposing responses.
If we were introduced socially, you’re already in on the secret. If someone were to ask you “did you know this about her” your reply would be “isn’t it obvious, everyone knows that about her”.
Suppose our meeting happened in a professional setting. Revealing this truth about myself would receive a much different reaction. “No way”. “It’s not possible”. “Not her”.
Here’s the secret
I am not just a little bit shy. I am deathly shy. My preferred role in a social setting; wall flower. The thought of having to introduce myself to total strangers and be able to make small talk with them gives me the same pit in my stomach as having just ate some bad sushi. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I remember being on a bus trip and someone yelled out “why don’t you ever talk”? My valiant hero responded “she never talks”. Shy. So shy. Paralyzed with fear.
In a professional setting a totally different persona comes to life. A hostess with the mostest, A larger than life very social figure. Someone who is outgoing, approachable, even . . . LOUD. Put her on a stage and let her speak to the room and she shines. Who is this person? Where does she come from?
It wasn’t always this way. I remember early on in my career I would have to do morning sales meetings. As I began to speak I would feel it. The burning red creep. It would start on my chest and the warm burning sensation would climb. I would think “don’t be visible, don’t be visible” as I felt it creep up to my neck. “Don’t be visible”, now my ears are on fire. “Don’t be visible”, my cheeks are certainly crimson with the burn. The horror. Complete terror.
What is different now? Competence. Studying your craft, becoming an expert and doing something over and over again until you build competence. Action builds competence. Competence then breeds confidence. Look at the athletes about to take part in the 2018 Winter Olympics. As they are about to begin their event they radiate confidence. It wasn’t always there. There was fear. Confidence came with repeated practice of their sport making them competent.
There are two reasons I decided to share my secret with you. First, you may be holding yourself back because, like most people, you have a fear of speaking. This can be conquered. Be a subject matter expert and keep throwing yourself into situations where you have to give presentations. Eventually, it will get easier and even become enjoyable. Second, as you’re working on yourself at the onset of the new year you may have some limiting beliefs about your abilities that are preventing you from setting certain goals. I can’t possibly give a presentation, don’t you know that I’m shy? Maybe it’s not speaking, perhaps it’s writing. Maybe it’s exercise. Just start doing it. Action builds competence and competence breeds confidence. You can do this.
by LT MarathonGirl | Dec 27, 2017 | Self Development
Ever crush a goal and have a strange sense of emptiness? Make 2018 a year of total fulfillment.
Are you joining millions who are going to the gym this week? Here’s a plan to kick off your next several trips to the gym. Focus on lifting weights with one arm. Each time for the next bunch of visits keep working that same arm. Curls, flies, lift, press, repeat . . . work it!
We all want a toned arm. Actually, none of us want just one toned arm. We would look ridiculous. No one is setting a fitness goal for 2018 to look weird, but many are setting goals in just one or two areas putting themselves at risk of feeling very unfulfilled even though they’ve achieved their goals. When working on your personal plan for 2018 take a look at more than just your job or your financial status or your relationships. Take time to reflect on and plan for your whole self. Gift yourself a year of total fulfillment in 2018 by thinking through and planning in the following 8 areas
1. CAREER: Are you considering a new career or advancing in your current one? Do you have the job you want? What about your job do you love? What can you do to make your job better? Many people think that the employer is responsible for making their job better, but it’s more in your control than you may think. What – if you did more of it or less of it at work would make you enjoy it more?
2. FAMILY: We can be mutually fulfilled in career success and family success when we take the time to decide what is important and how to manage our time.
3. FINANCIAL: Financial planning should include short term, mid term and long term. What are some things on your “want” list? What steps can you take to make those a reality? Are you thinking big enough?
4. PHYSICAL: I worked with a CEO who would say “get out and run, and if you can’t run, then walk, and if you can’t walk, then crawl, but get up and do something”. We all only have one body. What can you do this year to take care of yours?
5. RELATIONSHIPS: Which relationships do you want to build? Do you have any that are toxic? “Who you spend time with is who you become”. These are great words of wisdom from Tony Robbins.
6. SPIRITUAL: This doesn’t have to be about religion (but it sure can be). What are your beliefs? Your beliefs drive your actions and your actions get your results. Do you have limiting beliefs keeping you from being more, doing more, and having more?
7. INTELLECTUAL: I read that Mark Cuban reads 3 hours a day, Elon Musk ran out of books to read in the library so he would sneak into a bookstore to read more, and that Warren Buffet devotes much of his time to books. Success leaves clues. If these three very successful men devote time each day to sharpen the saw, we all should. If reading is not your thing then find something fun. Ted Talks are entertaining, impactful, and full of knowledge.
8. FUN: All work and no play will make 2018 a dreadful year. What do you enjoy doing for fun? Do you have any interests or hobbies? How will you make sure to take some time for yourself?
Make 2018 your most fulfilled year yet by planning in all 8 areas for a complete you. You can do this!
by LT MarathonGirl | Aug 23, 2016 | Book Review, Business, Self Development
Grit: Passion, Perseverance, and the Science of Success by Angela Duckworth
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
This book started out great. Her explanation of grit and the examples provided were very interesting. I feel that people will be encouraged to read that perseverance can win over talent or skill. Perseverance puts the ball in my court instead of in my heredity or environment. How badly do I want to be great? How hard am I willing to work for it? Imagine if everyone could get that and get the voice in their head lined up with that thought. Wow!
The book then turned very ordinary and repetitive and even sounded
just like plain common sense over scientific research. There is already plenty written on the 10,000 hours, or as this author calls it deliberate practice (yes, the deliberate part does make it somewhat different, I get it, but not enough different to spend so much time on it). Here was one of the low lights . . . If you keep at something you may eventually get it right, but if you quit you won’t ever get there. Um, duh.
One of my favorite quotes . . .“…there are no shortcuts to excellence. Developing real expertise, figuring out really hard problems, it all takes time―longer than most people imagine….you’ve got to apply those skills and produce goods or services that are valuable to people….Grit is about working on something you care about so much that you’re willing to stay loyal to it…it’s doing what you love, but not just falling in love―staying in love.”
― Angela Duckworth, Grit: Passion, Perseverance, and the Science of Success
Staying in love is the key.
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